Saturday, April 17, 2010

Up and Running....sort of

So Little One is fighting sickness once again this winter. It's hard not to have a defeatist attitude. It's a hard time right now for my spirit and soul. I miss my family and feel guilty I can't visit with them more (it's a 300+ mile trip which works out to be a 6 hour + car drive). I know my parents miss me and wish I had never moved myself and their three grandsons so far away. As we all age it becomes that much harder for us all to travel.
Between car repairs, sickness and the different schedules of the five of us in this is very difficult for me to jump in the mini-van and head south.

It doesn't mean I don't think of them every day.
So many times this week I thought of my Mom and Dad:

When I woke up before the boys and watched the sunrise and turn the sky pink, I thought of my Dad and how he used to tell me, "Pink skies/sailors beware".
When my youngest son made me stop and see the green tips of crocus peeking up, I thought of my Mom's love of Spring.

And just this morning when Little One found a photo of my Mom (taken when she was in HER thirties) and he held up the photo and said, "Mama, YOU are so beautiful."

I love and miss you Mom and dad. I hope you know that.
I know I am always busy and fail in so many ways as your daughter but I hope you know it is none of it is intentional.

Recently a friend of mine said, "You know Jennifer, you don't have to be perfect at everything."
I started crying. I don't? Oh thank goodness! I'm exhausted.
I wrote her words down on a piece of paper and keep it with me now. If I had a locket I would wear it around my neck.

How often do we beat ourselves up for not being "good enough"? I am guilty of this regularly. Even though I know it is in the mistake making that we achieve our greatest learning (to quote Dr. Montessori).

I've got to remind myself to pay closer attention to the children.

Children are so wise. The small people I spend my days with bring me so much joy but more than that they educate me daily. If I'm, paying attention.
This week I danced like a kangaroo, I didn't even know kangaroos liked to dance.
Well, I've gotta hop friends, peace and love to you.
PS: When time allows you stop by and visit our new web site!


Anonymous said...

Living about 3,000 miles away from home, this entry of yours for sure was felt.
Many getting well wishes and a wonderful Sunday for you all as well.

daily athens

alankarshilpa said...

Dear Jennefer, Please don't be so hard on yourself. Montessori some where mentioned - Remember you are part of the environ too. You need to grow too. "The real preparation in education is the study of one's self. " _ M.M.

You are doing a great job. Keep it up. With love -

Dita from

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阿彌陀佛 無相佈施


之為腥。所謂「葷腥」即這兩類的合稱。 葷菜
(重定向自五辛) 佛家五葷



興渠另說為洋蔥。) 肉 蛋 奶?!

念楞嚴經 *∞窮盡相關 消去無關 證據 時效 念阿彌陀佛往生西方極樂世界

不婚 不生子女 生生世世不當老師

log 二0.3010 三0.47710.48 五0.6990 七0.8451 .85
root 二1.414 1.41 三1.732 1.73五 2.236 2.24七 2.646
=>十3.16 π∈Q' 一點八1.34

Where in the World?


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