Thursday, March 26, 2009

Hooponopono ~ What's it All About?

A few years ago I learned about a Hawaiian (I think ? Forgive me if I'm wrong) chant called Hooponopono. I think it's about forgiveness and the law of attraction, again, please forgive my ignorance. I'm not sure exactly, it's late. I was raised Catholic and presently find myself as a member of a Unitarian Universalist church and because this is not a blog about religion I won't spend much time on that topic.

But the reason I share this is because since learning this simple chant, I have used it many times through difficult situaltions and not surprisingly, it has helped.
It has gotten me through four MRI scans, 3 jaw surgeries, one very long home birth, countless sleepless nights with a croupy toddler, turbulence on my recent plane trip, and even (silently) through a very difficult conversation with a dear, dear friend.

I've decide all we can do for one another is listen. It sounds so easy, so small but it isn't. It is our greatest gift to one another.

You ever notice how when someone is sharing something with you and you chime in a possible solutions or a different view point, that the person will shut down, and stop sharing. It's different of course if someone seeks your advice or asked your opinion and you offer it.

I'm talking about deep sharing, baring your not always so nice but human and vulnerable side and being received in love even still. That's real, that's beautiful. That's a gift.

Adults are so good at hiding away their true feelings, sometimes even from themselves. Our emotions become cloaked in humor, sarcasm, lies, even rage can hide us from truly getting in touch with how we are feeling. We all do it. Now...

But as toddlers we didn't. I think that is part of why I love my job. A two year old is new to this earth, born just 24 months earlier and still open, vulnerable and free. Don't you wish some times, just every once and a while you could express yourself like this?

Apparently he didn't like being dress up as a jungle animal as much as his big brother thought he would? Can you guess how he feels?

Or this, clearly he is having a good time:

My point, even though it's late, is:
It's not about saying anything. Sometimes it's just about the expressing, the listening and being heard. It feels comforting to know you are not alone in your emotions. Hugs help (especially for toddlers) but when your a grownup, listening means so much more.

I've decided to change how I deal with my frustrations. (Wish me luck, as you know if you read regularly, I am human and I rant sometimes) :) I will only put out what I want back. I've tried this before and it does work, but it's purposeful living and it's work for this tired mom of three. But I'm gonna try.

MM's Mantra:
"Just for today...
I will treat others as I wish to be treated.
I will Listen, not interrupt, just listen.
I will bare witness to other people's expressions of emotions
and I will respond, not just react.
Just for today, I will respect all living things.
I will speak from my heart and say only true statements.
This is my life's work.
Just for today I am going to do these things.
Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh slate...
What will be will be, let it be.

PEACE to all of you AMAZING Mama's and Papa's out there! After a day of parent teacher conferences, I can tell you, you are doing the most difficult and important job you will ever do! Your children are unable to express their thankfulness to you right now, but maybe one day they will. Sacrifice goes hand and hand with parenting, but it worth every minute of it.



Jess said...

thanks for that. Beautiful. I have heard of Hooponopono and used it once or twice. Think might get it out for this coming week with some challenges facing. Thanks for the reminder.

And yes parents are AMAZING aren't they? I was just thinking so as we were walking to Montessori playgroup this morning. Phenomenal what we do - so wonderful, hard and special.

Thanks for the post. (:

Regina said...

Oh Jennifer!! Thank you, thank you , thank you for this. Such a beautiful reminder and a great way to start the day. I especially need this when I am at work for 12 hours and when my co-workers are venting.


plaidshoes said...

Wonderful post. You are right in that kids are so open to expressing their feelings and grown-ups so guarded. I love the picture in he costume. I have so felt that way! I also have been trying to listen and not always interrupt with a personal example or thought. It is tough. I really like your saying/mantra. I am going to try to use it myself. Thank You! And please don't under estimate the impact of a wonderful teacher. Those (and yours) children are lucky to have you.

Super Fun Mama said...

I've been a follower for a while now and have you on my blog list-but I was hoping to get a subscription so all the blogs I read are in one place. Do you have subscribing option?

Jennifer Howard said...

I think I've done it. Subscribe if you can my dear.

Chic Mother said...

Oh, this is a wonderful post and reminds me of the beauty of simply letting our emotions shine through...

Kids do show us the most basic but most important things in life, don't they?

Karin said...

So so true. Thank you.


amanda. said...

this is so inspiring!

Where in the World?


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