A Mother's Day Gift idea for YOU

Dear Friends,

One of my Belfast friends, Amy Robbins-Wilson, has just released an insightful and delightful book on the first year of motherhood and is extending a very special offer for Mother’s Day.

The book is called Transformational Mothering – A Prayerful Companion for New Mothers. It is a collection of prayers, poems, affirmations and stories intended to provide comfort and inspiration to new mothers. As such, it makes an excellent treat for new mom’s to buy for themselves or a thoughtful gift for a new mother you may know.

Amy is not only a gifted author, she is an extraordinary singer. I can not describe to you the pure beauty of her voice. It takes you to places you thought you had forgotten. She is releasing a new CD called “The Divine Hours of Motherhood – Lullabies and Prayers for Mothers and Babies” later in May. But on Tuesday May 5th only, she is giving her extraordinary music away for FREE to people who purchase Transformational Mothering from Amazon.

If you’re looking for a fantastic mother’s day gift for a new mom (or for YOU) for less than $15, this is a great one. To get the full details of this one day special, just click this link.

http://www.transformationalmothering.com/Unique_Mothers_Day_Gift.html

And if you know of someone who might be interested, let them know, too.

Blessings,
Jennifer

Thank you Families!

So, last night was one of our annual Parent Education Nights. I was asked to present a workshop on bringing Montessori home. The trick was I had to do this in 20 minutes, three different sessions. This was tricky for me, as I am usually long winded and I had more information than could be shared in such a short time. But it went well and the parents seemed to enjoy the evening and that's what matters most.
For those of you who didn't get all the hand outs I am posting them here a second time for you! For those of you who have read this post before, I apologize for repeating myself :)
PEACE to all,
~MM
As I've said before and I am sure I will say again, you are your child's first teacher. It is important to say also that you are your child's most important and influential teacher. You set the tone for your child's love of learning from the very start and it is you who bridges (or widens) the gap between school and home. [For those of you homeschooling you ARE both school and home, and my hat is off to you!]. I know this can sound overwhelming but it need not BE overwhelming. I hope I will make it a little easier to accomplish with the following suggestions.

The list below, I read recently in M magazine.
Nine things the Montessori parent can do to bridge the gap between school and home:

1.) Encourage Independence 2.) Establish Order 3.) Help children to be helpful 4.) Develop concentration 5.) Introduce Nature 6.) Provide Opportunities 7.) Enable Self Discovery 8.) Encourage choice 9.) Use appropriate language

As I read the list I interpreted it Montessori Mama style:

1.) I like to call this first one, "Caring For".
I remember being asked by my very wise Nana once (when my now 15 year old was three years old & long before I had discovered Montessori),
"Do you take care of your child or do you care for your child?"
The distinction wasn't as obvious to me at 22, as it is now. As a young mother I took care of children, now I care for children. And as a Montessori Parent I do this by teaching my children to care for themselves, their belongings, our home, pets and plants and each other.
Young children welcome the opportunity to be independent and to care for others. Sometimes we Moms and Dads can gum up the works by trying to DO for them what they can do for themselves.
"Caring For" Examples:
Blowing one's own nose
creating a center peace
setting the table for dinner
clearing the table after dinner
washing hands, drying hands
cleaning up after a spill (using a sponge/using a dust pan & broom)
dressing, undressing
using the toilet
feeding self & using spoon-fork-knife
preparing and serving snacks to self and others
Manners: "Please" and "Thank you"
putting away belongings
hanging up coat
getting dressed for outside play
watering plants
feeding pets, showing affection and playing with them also
(of course within realistic age appropriate expectations)
2.) Making Your Life Easier!
Spoken like a truly organized person (which I am not by the way).
I talked about this at length in past posts here and here, so I won't spend too much time here now. Minimize your clutter and you minimize your stress. If you want to encourage Independence and you want your children to be successful at cleaning up, give them less "stuff" to work around and with.
3.) Building Self Esteem
In the Montessori classroom there is allot of focus on the classroom community, building a sense of family. At home there already is family and shining a light on that is important. Some families have "Family Game Night" others have Sunday night dinner together as a rule because the rest of the week is hectic and everyone has a different schedule. Whatever works for your family, do it. Make it happen that you are all together regularly, celebrate what makes you a family and reflect on who does what and what you appreciate about one another. We all like to be appreciated, even the youngest of us.
As a Montessori Parent your job is to observe and to create an environment that supports your children's learning and personal development. By making observations, out-loud, when your child does something you appreciate, that supports the home and family you honor them. For example simply stating, "When you tuck your boots under the bench it makes it easier for the next person who comes in, thank you." You draw attention to the desired behavior and shine a light on your child for being a considerate member of the family.
4.) Minimizing Distractions:
This one relates closely to number 2, but also more importantly to "screen time". Limit the TV, limit the computer, turn off the radio. [This is a strong personal opinion of mine, however I personally spend allot of time in front of this computer screen....it's a fine line we parents walk. Do as I say...not as I do? This one is my biggest challenge as a Montessori parent.]
When nurturing your child's natural ability to concentrate you can also minimize the number of times you interrupt them when they are engaged. This allows them time to focus and to develop a longer attention span. I have suggested to parents that providing a carpet square at home for their child to use can be helpful. In the classroom if a child is doing a work and it is time for a transition (ex: lunch) the child places their name tag on their work rug and returns to it later. At home a carpet square can be used in the same way. No name tags are needed but it is understood that the child's belongings will all be put away in time for dinner, with the exception of the particular item they are playing with on the carpet square. They can return to it after dinner or even the next day if it is bed time. Giving our children "exceptions" is loving and shows them respect. Allowing them the time to come back to the puzzle they are three pieces away from finishing, is kind and will help them follow through and complete future tasks. Most importantly it sends the message that you value what is important to them.
5.) Slowing Down/Appreciating the World Around Us!
Go for nature walks, draw pictures or take photos of your observations, pause and ponder TOGETHER. Plant seeds indoors, tend to a family garden, look for animal tracks and listen for bird calls. Research your observations, start a sea shell collection, reserve a place to appreciate nature in your home.
6.) Let them DO it
Provide your children with real life opportunities. Aid the process by giving your child her own little broom or sweeper; hang a feather duster on a hook and provide a hamper for her dirty clothes. Show her how to wipe round the sink in the bathroom with a small scrub sponge. Folding towels and napkins is another activity to teach a young child. Use a bottom drawer to hold cutlery and a low shelf for crockery so your child can help to lay the table and put things away.

Here are some of my kids favorite kitchen activities:
Using an old fashioned egg beater or whisk
Sifting flour
Scooping flour, sugar, salt, etc. with large and small scoopers
washing vegetables and fruit, peeling with a vegetable peeler
Spreading (like peanut butter on a cracker)
Stirring mixture
Basting with a large turkey baster
Using a ladle
Opening and closing lids
Screwing and unscrewing lids on jars
Dish washing (okay, not my 15 year old) and washing table with a sponge.
As you can see the list can be endless. Anything your child wants to learn to do, encourage him or her by breaking everything down into small steps and slowly and patiently teaching your child using actions and very few words.

7.) Allow for Mistakes
Prepare the environment and step back.
Give your child time for reflection, problem solving and coming to their own conclusions. Don't swoop in! Ask leading questions that encourage your children to be part of the solution making process. Ex:"You spilled your milk, oops, that some times happens when we are learning how to pour; what can you use to clean up the spill?" Encourage the desired behavior but understand and accept that your children may have spills, break things and not always want to do it the way you suggest.
8.) Know Your Child
Learn about child development. Read a book, take an adult ed. class even, I can't stress this enough. Learn if your expectations are too high? School is not home, I'll say it again, school is NOT home. Bringing Montessori home does not mean creating a Montessori classroom in your home (unless you are home schooling of course). And I will write this in bold: Montessori parenting is about understanding the Montessori philosophy and believing in it; it's not about the materials. Understanding child development and the children you are caring for by following their lead and providing them with a safe and loving environment, is your responsibility as a Montessori parent.
As a Montessori teacher I speak from experience when I tell you that the most valuable thing I can do in my classroom, is to observe. I learn so much from paying attention and getting to know the children I am working with. Only after doing this can I make an estimation about what they would be challenged by, need more time to practice, and what it is they really enjoy learning about.
How often do we spend time observing our own children?
Walk around on your knees and ask yourself, "What can I reach?" Change your perspective and make observations from this different point of view.

Also, not every kid likes attention, your children may not want to "show Grandma" how they do something. These everyday living skills and responsibilities are not for show. Refrain from asking your children to demonstrate for your in-laws (however tempting that may be). Let them feel proud of their own successes and share them if they desire to do so.

9.) It IS what you say AND how you say it
Use Appreciative Praise. (see #3)
For example, "Good Job!" is a classic response to a child who has just done something their parent wanted them to, but what does it really tell them? That's right, not much. If you change your wording, to state what it is that you observed, you give them something more and you show them your appreciation.
"Pretty picture!" becomes,
"I see you made orange when you mixed red and yellow, good for you."
"Nice job!" becomes,
"When you swept up, you collected every last piece. Now the floor is clean."
"Good boy!" becomes,
"When you got your sister's doll down from the shelf, you were being kind, thank you for helping her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some other past posts you may find helpful:
My favorite list
Being a Montessori Parent
Prepared Environment
The Real Mom in Me
Makin' It Look Easy
Ways to Encourage Sharing

Thanks for stopping by!
PEACE
Jennifer

Her Name is Ruby!

Okay, so even though many of you commented that you liked 'Periwinkle', I did not. I liked the idea of her but my mind's eye had other visions of what she could be. And so I went back to work and this doll (who I call 'Ruby') was born.

We just returned from vacation, visiting my family in Massachusetts. My niece Emma seemed happy with this gift, although she mentioned the hair felt scratchy, I think she liked it.

Christmas was a whirlwind for us; as I am sure it was for most of you too.
Sometimes being a parent can be exhausting. For me, Christmas is one of those times. I adore my kids (obviously) but there are so many expectations wrapped up in Christmas (no pun intended). I feel such an obligation to meet expectations, which is something I've tried and let go of because I usually come up short. This time of year makes me feel upside down. I want the kids to be happy, but I struggle with buying vs creating happiness. In this time of mass production, emails take the place of hand written notes,store bought items over shadow the handmade ones, and so it is easy for say a 10 year old (Spirited Child) to get caught up in the hyper, over stimulating, noising world of X-box. But between his OBSESSION with the TV screen and Little One's need for destruction (no tree ornaments are safe! we lost FIVE this year) I think the 6 hour car ride (and 6 hours back) was what elevated my stress level more than anything,'Taller Than Me' wanted to drive the whole way!

It was a week of realizations for me, that parenting children of such drastically different stages of development is often more difficult than I think it will be. And that I need to ask for help occasionally. Something that has always been a challenge for me. I had imagined TIME as my Christmas gift. That with school break and tons o' new things to entertain my boys, I might find the time to draw, sew, paint, do SOMETHING other than referee, clean and care for others. But, alas, no such luck. The six hour car ride was what did me in. Did I mention, my husband had walking pneumonia? So, my partner was down for the count.

Now, I'm home and my cat wants all I have left to give. Which oddly enough is just enough and the relationship is symbiotic so it's all good. Montessori Papa is in better health and we are no longer in a minivan. Life is good this morning. I hope you all have had a wonderful week of Christmas, with safe travel and good times. I appreciate you reading my rant. There were MANY wonderful things that happened this week also...I intend to share about them as well; maybe tomorrow?
Tomorrow is the first day of 2009!
Happy New Year's Eve!
PEACE
MM

Mama Rant!

Okay so it's day 24. It's been 24 Days since Papa Montessori left for his Montessori training.
I'm nearing my breaking point. Can I just rant for a moment please?
Thank you.
Before I start, I hope it goes without saying that I love my children more than anything. That said,
The last two days have been very stressful! Little One is officially TWO, as you know, and he is turning into a wild man! I know his routine is upset and he misses his rough and tumble play Dad, but oh my goodness kid! Could you bring it down to a low roar? Could you stop moving for two minutes?! Yesterday he tried to eat a candle! He won't eat any vegetables all of a sudden, but he'll eat a candle?
What gives?
In a matter of moments he dumped four bathroom drawers on the floor, dumped his bucket of crayons (which he had to climb up on a chair to get it off the counter!)and some how, I'm still not sure how, got into his sleeping teenage brother's bedroom and took his IPOD hostage.
The result a screaming hissy fit when said IPOD was retrieved by his now awake and very grumpy teenage brother.
Everything always goes wrong while I am getting dressed or using the bathroom.
Does this happen to you too?

The past few weeks have been a pretty constant stream of:
driving to pick some one up
driving to drop someone off
making meals
buying food to make a meal
cleaning up after a meal
and doing laundry.

Middle Man had to have his teeth cleaned yesterday and he ended up refusing to open his mouth for the dental hygienist (that was fun)she had to come and get me in the waiting room. Little One saw this as his opportunity to take off down the hallway toward the Treasure Chest of children's goodies usually given to a child who WILL cooperate with the dental hygienist, and he proceeded to, yep..you guessed it, DUMP the contents of the treasure box. EXCEPT for the things he wanted to have (a handful of pencil erasers shaped like teeth) which he promptly put into his mouth!!!!
(I am NOT making this up!)

Taller than Me (who's social life is way more important than just about anything else) has been needing me to drive him every where and just once I would love to here a "Thanks Mom" without me having to hint around for one.

Could I complain about the smelly lunch boxes or the mildew on the laundry no-one seems to know how to do except for me? Did I mention the WET library books, broken window screen and lost water shoes?
Perhaps it's better if I don't.

This is the most difficult job, isn't it? Some days I want to call in sick.

Well that's it, as you can all relate to I'm sure, I have a very long TO DO list and it's calling to me.
Little One is napping and sharing with all of you is a short lived luxury.
Thanks for reading this. I hope I didn't scare you with my honesty.
Like my mother always said,
"I try my best, that's all anybody can do."
In PEACE,
Montessori Mama
PS I just found some cheese to go with my whine, phew!
Only 15 more days till Montessori Papa comes home! YA HOO! But who's counting?

What Will My Child's Day Be Like?

Building the nest continued...
This is a summer I am sure to remember fondly, for a variety of reasons, but most importantly because this is the summer I am setting up our Montessori school's toddler environment...from scratch! Please know I love to bake "from scratch" I love to craft "from scratch" and what I am discovering is although I am LOVING building this nest from scratch, explaining my vision to others is a challenge.
I can imagine how it may be difficult for some parents to sign their child up for our toddler program, sight unseen. And so I thought I would share my visions with all of you. I look forward to feed back and encouragement and questions if you have any. Feel free to email me at spirals@gwi.net.

If you are a parent of a toddler soon to enter into our toddler program at the Montessori school this post is specifically directed to you. If you are a visitor to this blog and find anything at all useful in this post I am very happy to share with all of you and thank you for reading!


"What will my toddler's day be like?"
I'm not always sure how to field this question because every child is different and what one is drawn to is different for each one of them. So every child is going to give and receive something different than every other child in the group. Without having had an opportunity to observe your children, I have yet to discover what will become interesting to your child; however based on my 16 years of experience and formal education in child development, Montessori and early childhood education I am hoping I will create an environment in which your children and you will find the following:

Many, MANY sensorial experiences!
As you know our toddlers are sensorial learners, our classroom will be designed with this in mind. Prepare for picking up MESSY but happy children.

a quiet space to cuddle up with a board book or stuffed toy

climbing opportunities, rolling opportunities....large motor development supportive materials (tunnels, hula hoops, balls etc.)

Musical instruments!
Singing and dancing EVERY day.

Language nurturing activities such as animated story telling, puppet play, listening games and opportunities to make silence as well as noise.

Opportunities for your child to develop Care of Self Skills such as hanging up his or her own coat, washing hands, blowing one's nose...
Toys! Play things designed for toddler learning and MORE than one of exciting items as we learn how to share.

Mirrors and hats, smocks and paint, blocks and nesting containers and so much more!

Every day your children will go out doors and move at their own pace about the play yard; climbing apparatus and a large sand box are provided. Ride on toys and balls to run and kick with too. Plants and materials to build with and create new things from will be provided seasonally also.

There is a both a start and a finish to your child's time at school, at the school we believe in community building and peaceful conflict resolution. Visiting the Nest, your toddler will be provided with opportunities to grow and learn, to try new things and make discoveries. They will be encouraged to use language to communicate and their hands for helping.

It is our goal that they will feel welcome, important, safe and loved while at school. Our presence is to assure safety and provide support for their learning. We teachers will nurture their independence and help them to identify their feelings, the feelings of the other children in the group and for them to slowly gain control of their bodies and voices. We will provide a space full of positive learning experiences, opportunities for social growth with a focus on your toddlers as sensorial learners.

My family who had been out and about while I was typing this have returned. Now three boys and their Papa (home for the weekend from his Montessori training) fill our tiny house with noise and commotion. I can no longer concentrate. Perhaps this post will be continued yet again....

PEACE to all of you!
Enjoy your family
Montessori Mama

Playdough Fun with Little One

I should begin by saying that this lovely playdough experience ended with Little One eating a fist full of blue playdough. That said, the actual sculpture making experience was lovely up until the snacking started. So if your little one is not hungry and enjoys playdough play I recommend giving him or her sea shells to stick in the dough. PS: My nine year old enjoyed this also.
I have been experiencing computer troubles lately and getting frustrated, things seem to be better now (my husband is my savior!).
More to come!
~~MM

Montessori Parent

So, you have decided to research Montessori education as a possibility for your child. You have attended parent information sessions, open houses, met with the director of admissions, had a tour of the Montessori school, observed in a Montessori classroom, spoken with other parents. It’s looking pretty favorable, but there’s one more step. Before deciding if Montessori is right for your family, you must ask yourself the following questions.

Am I. . .

• Supportive of an educational method which focuses on process v. product? (Doing rather than memorizing).
• Supportive of peace education, conflict resolution, community service, and environmental education?
• Comfortable with curriculum that includes multiculturalism?
• Comfortable with (and understand the complexities of) narrative progress reports and student work portfolios. Am I willing to leave numerical/letter grades and grade level comparisons behind for now?
• Comfortable with an educational method that believes that children learn best through intrinsic motivation, where there are neither rewards nor punishments, and that competition hinders learning?
• Supportive of real-life learning situations?
• Supportive of the belief that children learn best when they have control over their own learning?
• Recognizing that objectives are usually met in a three-year cycle, as opposed to standardized grade levels?

By exploring a Montessori education, you will find that it’s not just about the education of your child. It’s a commitment to educating the whole person and family. It’s about knowing there’s something better and seeking it out and being comfortable in knowing you have made the right decision.

*from Montessori Teacher Training

I thought this may be useful as I plan to follow this post with ideas about ways to bring Montessori home. As parents we bridge the gap between school and home; bringing elements from the Montessori classroom into your home helps your children become life long learners. Remember you are your child's first teacher!
In PEACE
~~MM

The Real Mom in Me

I recently got a letter from an old childhood friend. In it she wrote that she had looked me up and found her way to my blog. She said many lovely and wonderful things to me in the letter; it was beautiful. However, when I finished reading it I thought, she doesn't really know me. Because all she was going by after all these years, were the bits and pieces of me I posted on my blog. Montessori Mama is the mother I aspire to be, in reality I make allot of mistakes. So, it occurred to me I should let you all in on a little secret:
I'm not perfect. No one is.
I gave up trying to be perfect years ago but some how I have still managed to present an unrealistic projection of myself on this blog. Although I personally feel that blogs that teach something or inspire people are more enjoyable to read than ones that are a daily vent of people's personal lives; I do feel like I want to share more about what being a parent means for me personally. It would bother me if people were reading my ideas and suggestions and thinking badly of themselves because they "should be doing more"with their children.

The point is this is not a competition, and we are all in this together. I became a mother very young and I often feel like my oldest and I have grown up together. I've learned allot from becoming a mother and from working with families.

Some things I've had to learn the hard way:

• pretzel rods are not a toddler friendly food
• If you don't encourage your child to learn to swim when they are small (and often afraid) they really won't want to learn when they are older.
• fighting with your spouse in front of your kids is not a good idea.
• too much TV can be harmful.
• your mother in law will inevitably learn how you really feel about her if you vent to your 5 year old.
• when you have more than one child, eating out is no longer an option
  

Over the years there have been several amazing women I have aspired to be like. And I've always felt I came up short. I'm trying not to do that to myself anymore. I try my best and pray I don't make too many mistakes along the way. The main reason I believe I am a good parent is because I keep learning every day. I'm open to it and I follow my children's lead.

Considering there is no test that a person must pass in order to become a parent I think we all do what we can with the tools we've been given. In my case (being that I am an over achiever) I was given a 'tool box' from my own parents and when I became a parent I began trying to fill my tool box with new and improved tools and any that I hadn't received. My husband did the same thing and soon our tool boxes were quite full. And I've also discovered that a parent can never really fill their tool box because there is always more to learn.

Out of all the teachers and mentors I've had the privilege of knowing and learning from, it has been my children who have taught me the most. The hardest lessons and the most rewarding and beautiful ones too:

• Spanking doesn't work
• If I swear they will swear too
• Fast food is not good for growing bodies
• Reading out loud is entertaining for everybody if the book is Harry Potter
• Halloween doesn't have to be scary
• whoever it was who invented Legos was a genius
• whoever it was who invented the kazoo never had children
• words can hurt MORE than sticks and stones
• Daddies can kiss boo-boos and take bad dreams away, sometimes BETTER than Mommy
• my heart can love more than one baby

So there you have it. I've fed my boys fast food, let them watch movies they maybe were not ready for (i.e they ended up with bad dreams), I've yelled at them more times than I want to confess, I've said the wrong thing and made the situation worse, I've swore, yelled at their Dad and said their teacher must be nuts, I've broken a promise or two and even lied once every year (yes, there is a Santa).

Thank you for reading my blog and for trying some ideas with your children. I'm not trying to impress you, I'm trying to connect with you and learn from you. I enjoy this medium for communicating but recognize it can be one dimensional, the real Mom in me is 3D.